On Wednesday, November 17 at the Writer's Cafe, I gave my favorite exercise to the women and men in the group, "Nine Things I Don't Remember"  and "Nine Things I Do."  This extraordinary writing prompt was given to me by Abigail Thomas, whose memoir writing and instruction can be easily found on http://www.abigailthomas.net/.

I promised to post what I had written last February in a group class  that Abby conducted at the Woodstock Writer's Festival. Alas, I can't find the notebook with that entry. So I suppose that should be one of the "NIne Things I Don't Remember" this time around.  But by way of proving to the doubters that this exercise is illuminating, I thought I'd give myself the same challenge, again. Old work is good to revisit when it needs to be revised. New work is a diversion and serious avoidance if you haven't completed what you've started.

An aha moment for me!  I'm on a deadline with the third piece in my series about my father  for the www.goodmenproject.com, and this "remembering" exercise can get the juices flowing for that piece—which is slow in coming. It is tentatively called " Scheherazade of the Stove." In the opening of the memoir that I'm writing for publication on or about November 25, my parents are having a violent argument in the dining room in our lake house in the Berkshires. Here are "Nine Things I Don't Remember" about that argument.

1. I don't remember why my mother was in her dressing robe in the middle of the afternoon?

2. I don't remember  how my mother kept that dressing robe, mended and tidy.

3. I don't remember who followed who into the dining room where the argument escalated

4. I don't remember if the sun was shining through the picture window that looked right out onto the tranquil lake

5. I don't remember if they knew I was there?

6. I don't remember what I said to god when I prayed they would get divorced?

7. I don't remember when I switched to praying  they would stay together?

8. I don't remember when I started thinking my father would kill her.

9. I don't remember which one of us carried my mother to her four poster bed.

Tomorrow I will write the "Nine Things I Do Remember." Obviously, I will by then have approached my looming deadline with more knowledge than I had at the start of this post. "Nine Things You Don't Remember"  are a good way to come into your "memory room." Sneak in. See what makes you tremble when you deny memory.